Every now and then, you might forget why you drink coffee. This sort of forgetfulness is like forgetting why you love your spouse. You ever get that? Your significant other asks you, “Why do you love me?” and all you can think to say is, “Uh, I dunno. I just do.” That’s what we called an “epic fail” in 2009.
Don’t let your poor memory get the best of you with your life partner or your favorite beverage. Here’s a few proven reasons we can all enjoy our coffee.
- Coffee enables the ability to speak to others before 11 AM.
- Stabalizes standy-uppy functionality.
- Decreases the chance of your murdering the person who snored in your ear all night.
- Melts mental cobwebs so your can answer children’s relentless questions over breakfast.
- Increases the chance you’ll recognize when autocorrect is messing with you.
- Makes you less hatey.
- Lubricates the eye-opening mechanism.
- Deactivates Zombie Mom mode.
- Recharges verbal filter, allows for re-entry to the world outside one’s home.
- Gives someone who hasn’t slept through the night in a decade something to look forward to.
But my favorite reason of all is that drinking coffee is a great motive to get out of bed—especially when I’m in control of making the coffee with freshly roasted beans. I don’t have to think twice when the alarm sounds to wake me up. I know that just a few steps away, in the kitchen, I have a bag of beans ready to grind and transform into a delicious drink. Then, the coffee handles all the other benefits listed above on its own.
But you don’t get this #1 motivation to get out of bed and enjoy your hot beverage unless you know that the coffee will be worth drinking. Not all coffee is created equal. That’s why craft coffee is so important, and why a fresh source of coffee beans makes a great deal of difference in your life.
The next time someone asks you, “Why do you drink coffee?” and if that person happens to be your significant other, you should be prepared to give them a thoughtful answer. I would tell them, “Because I can’t live without you.” Er, I meant to say, “Because I don’t want to live without something as delicious as the perfect coffee.”